So, I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Until, my husband granted my wish and I was trying to get back to work after two weeks.
I became a mom at 19 years old, a little over a year after enlisting in the Marine Corps. I got out after serving four years and did not have any significant work experience. However, being a veteran did give me a lot of preference over other applicants when I applied for various positions.
I had to work two jobs to make ends meet for a few years. Eventually, I landed a position with great pay, but it kept me away from my then three year old because of mandatory double shifts. I decided to take a pay cut to switch careers.
After twelve years of working hard, (the last few spent working while going to school) I threw in the towel. I got tired of hurriedly running in and out of daycare to drop off my daughter, speeding around the drop-off circle at my sons’ school only to see the SAHM sashay without a care in the world. She would either be well put together as if she was fresh off the runway or she was still wearing her pajamas. She appeared to be fit because of all the time she seemed to have that must have been spent at the gym. She would drive a brand new luxury vehicle or a messy minivan. Jealous, much? Yes, I was.
I wanted a piece of that homemaker pie.
I hated that the PTA only met during business hours. School events were even during business hours. It’s like they did not care about the working mom. Matter of fact, they looked down on you if you had to go to work and could not read to the class every week.
So, in August 2014, my job ticked me off one last time and I submitted my resignation letter like a boss. Okay, what actually happened is I became overwhelmed with all the slave labor work without breaks and I called my husband in tears. I felt unappreciated, overworked and underpaid. I told him I just wished I could quit and he cut me off, sharply responding “Do it!”
I stopped crying…huh?! Did I hear him correctly?
He said, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for you to leave that place. You’ve been unhappy for a while but I figured you must know what you’re doing and why you’re there.” That was all the push I needed. The same week I quit I received several job offers for a promotion. So, I called them to schedule interviews. Ya know, just in case.
I lasted three months as a SAHM, To my surprise, I was more busy than when I was working. At first, I took pride in rising early to cook a hot breakfast for my husband before work and pack his lunch. Then, I would do the same for the kids: Pack their lunches and drop all three off at school. I was making hot breakfast every day, lunches that rivaled all others in the breakroom and school cafeteria.
My husband thought he could pile up honey-do lists on me since I had all this so-called free time. *Remember, I’m still enrolled in college full time! One of my courses is accelerated which means way too much work to complete every other day. Housework never ended. And all the cooking breakfast, packing lunches and making dinner all before noon? Oh, that got old really quickly. I never made it to the gym. Or running first thing in the morning. All I wanted to do was hit snooze on the alarm clock a few times. Never got a chance to sleep in like I thought I would until the kids went on Thanksgiving Break. I really became a round the clock taxi/chef/nurse/maid/secretary/etc. There was nothing glamorous about it lol.
I would like to publicly apologize to all the SAHMs that I’ve ever criticized and went so far as saying they are good for doing nothing more than watching soap operas and shopping all day. I’m sorry for thinking that taking care of the house is easy. I’m sorry to have judged you when I saw you stressed out thinking that you don’t do anything all day and should therefore be happy. Yep, I was pretty shallow. Not taking into consideration that we get breaks in corporate America as opposed to working 24/7 at home. You all made it look so easy. I signed up to chill and quickly learned that I was bamboozled.
I thought the grass was greener on the other side. It turns out, that some people water theirs more than others and make it look greener. But just because something looks better does not mean it actually is better. Other people plant fake grass, smile and wave.
The next time another woman feels the need to speak down on you for choosing to be a homemaker, just smile and wave girls, smile and wave. As for me? I’m gonna make due with what I’ve got and mind my own business from now on. Ha!