|August 24, 2009|
I believe this is the only picture I have breastfeeding my daughter. We were getting ready to head out for her two-day doctor’s visit, hence the reason my hair isn’t done and my room is disorganized. I really did not know what I was doing, but I was determined to breastfeed her since I failed before.
I had been in labor for 15 hours with my first born and hadn’t eaten since the day before. When I finally gave birth, I was so delirious I was unable to get him to latch on. The nurses gave him a bottle and the rest was history.
I went home with engorged breasts and would have preferred for someone to cut them off instead of enduring that pain. One of my older friends covered my swollen boobs with cabbage leaves and wrapped me in bandages. I went from a first time mommy to the breast mummy. It was a great way to relieve my pain as I slept upright in a chair. The engorgement hurt so bad I couldn’t even put my arms down at my sides. What I didn’t know is that I would never be able to breastfeed him again. My milk dried up completely. I thought it was just going to be temporary relief. The same thing happened with my daughter after only breastfeeding her for just shy of three months. I was devastated, because I was supposedly given a low-dose birth control. My milk supply went away instantly. I literally cried, because I was completely committed to the journey this time.
I felt like a complete failure. I had to constantly explain to friends why I was bottle feeding with formula and not with milk that I pumped. Not to mention the fact that I had an epidural with my son. It’s almost like you don’t get to be apart of the super mommy club if you do not meet certain criteria for childbirth and feeding. I would take my vaginal births over c-section any day and that’s because of the recovery process alone. There is no “easy” way to bring a child into this world.
When did motherhood become so judgmental? I remember when it used to be a time for sisterhood and community outreach. Nowadays, it’s competitive and cutthroat.
So, whether you had a natural birth or a c-section, hospital birth or home birth, breast feed or bottle feed…thank you for the endless sacrifices that you have made and continue to make as a mommy. We should go back to the days of helping each other be better women which would automatically translate into better mothers, wives, sisters and friends.
To answer my original question: The best is however you decide to feed your children as long as it’s with love and adequate nutrition.