Herstory: Remarkable & Fearless

Earlier today, I watched a testimony with my husband and said how I couldn’t wait to become a seasoned saint like the older woman testifying. He stopped the video and asked me what the difference between her and I was. I couldn’t really explain it, because I knew what he was getting at. We had just finished talking about how I can’t believe that so many people I look up to have come to me for help or advice. I guess I have a problem with seeing myself through his eyes or even God’s eyes. In a way, it’s great to remain humble, but it’s sitting on the border of crumbling confidence.
Fast forward to studying. I said about three prayers to help with my focus, to revive the drive I had to graduate and just overall be fully motivated. After a brief meditation, I went to YouTube to play relaxing music and the ad (which I normally skip) interviewed various women about the most remarkable woman they know. The interviewer then asked them to define what a remarkable woman was. All the while, their loved ones were watching from another room because the women being interviewed were unknowingly remarkable women themselves. The video finished with “celebrate a remarkable woman, even if that woman is you.” This was a TJ Maxx commercial, but I knew it was a bigger meaning and purpose for me.
While finishing up Christmas shopping last year, I purchased myself a gift-Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes. You know, moms very rarely do that, right? I almost talked myself out of it until I noticed the 25% off AND an additional 15% off using the Cartwheel app (SCORE)! So, I began reading it thinking I was just going to past time. Boy was I wrong. Shonda, because she’s my BFF in my head and we’re obviously on a first name basis, awakened the go-getter within me. All this time I’ve been asleep. I finally understood why I loved her shows and writing style before she ruled Thursday night. I was a die-hard fan from the beginning. But it was while reading this book, I saw myself in her, as do so many women around the world. I don’t even know if this book qualifies as a self-help book, but it has helped me TREMENDOUSLY.
How does all of this tie together?
 
“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
 
While talking to one of my friends, I had an epiphany: I’ve been afraid more than ever. And I’ve never been afraid to take risks, but recently everything has been so calculated. That alone scared me. GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE SPIRIT OF FEAR. Like Shonda, I decided that I would say yes to everything that scared me in 2016.
When I was 18 years old, a representative for Wilhelmina Modeling agency gave me a business card. I tossed it in the garbage at the airport on my way to my first duty station, because I didn’t think I was good enough to model. Not pretty enough or tall enough. I know. There are very few things I regret, choosing bootleg GI Jane over a model happens to top the list.
A few weeks ago, I commented on a photo of one of the girl bosses I follow on Instagram and told her that I would be working with her someday. I don’t know how or when, but I wanted to put it out there in the atmosphere. Two days later, I received an email that her company was looking for hair models. What did I do? Went and took head shots and submitted them. I was not selected, but the blessing was in my obedience. I know they will select me in the near future. I’m putting that out there too :-). My hubby reminded me of the incident when I was 18 and how cool it was for him to see me follow through. It was fun. It was freeing. It was empowering. To take my destiny into my own hands and no longer allow fear or doubt to hold me back.
Do not allow fear to cripple you like I did for so long. Say yes to whatever it is that you think you cannot do. There is nothing to lose but fear itself.
I am grateful. I am motivated. I am fearless. I am focused. I am remarkable.

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